Ellé Bell Café

Story time in the cafe!

I'm sitting outside with a mug of coffee, and it's February in SC. Mid fifties, crisp, damp. The squirrels have been foraging for acorns and nuts. About this time of year, pickings are slim. Diesel is protective of the yard, denying access to all trespassing squirrels. Over time this has turned into a game between the squirrels being bandits, and the mean old sheriff driving the mad gunmen outta his town!

It goes on all year round,...

It was only at that one single place that I could have possibly been as I rounded the curve driving home from work, innoccently minding my own business, to be in direct line-of-sight of the entire front of his body as he grabbed tightly to an opportunity he only thought he had... Siezing,  in more ways than one, the only moment to physically turn away for the type of adjustments that only a true gentleman could never make in front of guests. Reflecting now, I am not q...

These are excerpts from random pages of my journals over several phases of my life's different paths. Life is full of love, and pain. Share in my facepalm experiences then run full steam, to trip down the path that eventually leads to wisdom. This is what makes you so unique, and special my friend! My path and your path are in some ways the same, and together we can learn from each other. I have receieved encouraging and loving comments in sweet private messages,...

The truth is, there is just something about writing, unspoiled by the spoken word, vocal inflections or interpretation. Thought in it's purest form. When they were younger, my kids would love to hear me spin a web of tales to engage and enthrall a rebelliously weary 6 year old at bedtime, but only some of my stories can be told in that way. 

Most of those things tip toeing through my head are more vibrantly formed and able to b...

Earlier this week a friend of mine created a startling conversation twister on me. Here is the scenario: Your ex-husband of years and years ago comes to you and says,” I have come back to be with you, I am a changed person.” And he really may, he just may finally be absolutely everything you have ever dreamed. What do you do?

I said, “Oh my, heck no…what ugh! WHAT?!NO!!”

(But, come on, baby&...

Locked deep inside a sullen spot in my heart, a dream silently lingered. Suffocating the hope out of that dream, it was slowly dying inside the walls I built around it. Days and months crawled by, even years, and the belief that I could touch the sky withered until finally it began the process of relinquishing the hold it had on me. Thoughts, beliefs and emotions bared themselves without their protective cover to keep them safe, and exposed they lay naked to the elements they s...

As the melodic wind chimes dance on the swirling gentle breeze giving life to the delicately layered song that soothes my soul, my thoughts drift on that very breeze to a quiet place. I stand at the bottom of a towering mountain where I strain and squint to gaze all the way up to the top of its snow capped ridges. I hunger to see the world from way up high in that extraordinary place. I imagine it is illuminated in shimmered crystal lights. I long to dance barefoot in victory a...

As the ragged edges are trimmed off the day I find my therapy in a hot, soapy sink full of dishes. Over the past few hours my glass of white zinfandel disappears sip by sip while thoughts somersault through my mind, and eventually I drift back to where I once was in a time and place lost long ago. Childhood.

I was raised in a small village on a lake, and on a farm in the middle of nowhere on the weekends. Whether I...

The rolling gravel slips under my shoes and I slide, skinning my leg. The jagged edges of the stony path are sharp and I see blood as it trickles and oozes from the muddy, tender place and drips contrasted on my white skin. Steep and winding is this treacherous path. It was one my mother warned me not to take but I wasn't paying attention and honestly it didn't seem to matter. Before I knew it I was here and I couldn't turn back.

...

Never wish for the end of life to stop feeling sadness. Sometimes it is overwhelming, I know. We have all been there at some time. Some hurt their bodies to stop the pain inside. Some pain is from your decisions, sometimes your heart is at the mercy of someone else. Sometimes you hurt and you don't know why.

Almost always, pain you feel because of someone else is avoidable. First is your mindset. Never go into any friendship or relationship thinking ...

The other day a woman I work with came up to me and whispered," Is the man you been dating, is he... well, is he a black man?" The air was thick with her discomfort and I stood there for a minute soaking it in. "Why do you ask?", I was curious. "Oh don't make no matter no how, I just heard something and wondered if it was true is all..."

Being raised in vanilla farm country as a corn fed white girl in a predominantly English speaking white community,...

In my minds eye I imagined sweet, gentle tropical breezes gently blowing through my hair set against a secluded white sandy beach backdrop where the foamy ocean waves symphony plays natures concerto. This is the goal, I think to myself in the days preceding my departure. Yes, this is the goal. Of course I have the body of Nicki Manaj and blond flowing mane of Shakira, but still - yes, this is the goal.

One may suspect that this being my first real va...

As my kitchen painting project winds down on day 2, my not-20-year-old-anymore back is telling me to ditch the ladder and stay on the floor a while. I look around my new kitchen to see the sunshine yellow walls now sporting “toasted coconut”, and I am loving it. While I stand there in the middle of my kitchen in my underwear, paint roller in hand, I think back to yesterday.

I was standing tall on a ladder to reach the tip top of the wall...

A great realization has manifested itself to me as of late. I realize things are not as they seem, nor do I want what I thought I did. I never thought I would have demands or expectations but I do. Essentially the confines of my narrow minded thinking has landed on its head, shattered and broken beyond repair. Life as I thought it was is over and a new life has emerged…

I used to want to live and grow old in a...

Today someone I cared about passed away.

The last words I said to her on Christmas Eve were "I love you". She knew it. She knew it by the way I talked to her, took the time for her, the way I stood up for her, listened to her and understood her. She knew it not just by my words, but by my actions. Point is, she knew it. Nothing else matters.

I truly and...

Relaxed n free

Hiding inside

Where no one

Can find me.

Daydreaming...

Remembering a time when what is,

Could just be.

Clouds in the sky

Become the waves

On the sea,

My sandcastles

Wondering if there is a place where someone so out of place can belong. Thinking… there really is no place- no one- for me. Inside this uninhibitedly enthusiastic façade of happiness and splendor contains this conundrum, and a hollowed outsider I will stay. This is not an invitation for sympathy. Realize there is peace that exudes from love spilled out to comfort and heal the devastated, to shield and protect the exposed and breathe life into the dreams of others. As...

Dear little boy or girl, or maybe both,

I don't know you, for you haven't yet been born. Today your mom and dad have asked me to become a part in a very beautiful happening. My name is John Eitel and though we haven't had a chance to meet yet a very important thing has happened already.

Today just so happens to be a very beautiful day out. The ...