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Ellé Bell Café

A Coffee & Gift Shop

111 W. Main St., Union SC



A Note to the Heartbroken

Posted on October 21, 2011 at 7:10 PM

Never wish for the end of life to stop feeling sadness. Sometimes it is overwhelming, I know. We have all been there at some time. Some hurt their bodies to stop the pain inside. Some pain is from your decisions, sometimes your heart is at the mercy of someone else. Sometimes you hurt and you don't know why.

Almost always, pain you feel because of someone else is avoidable. First is your mindset. Never go into any friendship or relationship thinking that person will never disappoint or hurt you. Your expectations are unrealistic. People change their minds, people are unpredictable. We have free will. But know yourself well enough to set the boundaries of what you will tolerate. Never let anyone take advantage of you or walk on you. You are precious. You are amazing, from your eye color to your fingerprints, completely unique and beautiful. NEVER to be abused. NEVER to be taken for granted.

With each failed relationship, seek the truth of its demise. It is an opportunity to learn from the pain, to learn and fine tune who you are. What was your part in this pain? Did you seek a destructive person? Someone lazy? Too high energy? High maintenance? Search yourself for who you really are in a relationship.

What are your patterns? What makes you happy? Romance? Spontaneity?

What makes you hurt? Are you too sensitive? What do you seek in your life? Peace? Intellect? Being care free? Adventure? What are your "must haves"? What are you willing to live without?

Please realize that just because someone likes you does not entitle them to you, or your heart. You and your heart must be earned. Someone who pays a high price for something takes much better care of it than something they may get for free.

When you seek the truth from deep inside yourself, you learn from your mistakes. Sometimes it doesn't feel good. But that's okay, because hurt is good for the soul sometimes. When your heart stops hurting you appreciate the peace and joy that replaces it. Be grateful for everything, even simple happiness, and your life will be saturated in life's richness, fullness and love. Take nothing for granted and all of a sudden, the hurt you felt because the person who made a promise then changed their mind is not the center of your world. The important things are. Your heart beat. Your breath. Your family. Your home.

If your wish is for life to end to stop the pain, then everything ends for you. It doesn't end for anyone else. In everyone's mind you will be forever who you are today, an underdeveloped sprout who has not yet had enough time in the sun or the rain to blossom into who you really are, who you will be someday, who you were created and designed to be. Don't rip yourself off from a lifetime of adventure and love because of a moment of hurt. When this time of sadness passes, and it always does, you will miss out on all the beauty, love, life, and adventure on the pages written in the book of your life, a beautiful story that in the end of time is wonderfully and uniquely you.

Love you:*


Categories: Pearls of Wisdom

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Reply Emily Pickens
4:37 PM on August 29, 2015 
This is so true about me. Your words have helped me understand that life is worth living and never to give up.
Reply Elle
7:00 PM on September 10, 2015 
When I wrote this note, I wrote it when someone I loved was experiencing profound pain. I wanted to change the conversation in their head from "You're not worth it, to "You are". Emily, you are worth it. You are beautiful and you are loved, my friend and if our paths crossed just for you to know that then I am blessed!!!
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